I recently had to do a medical clerkship for my studies and I chose to do in the surgical ward of my local hospital. I had done a clerkship there 1.5 years before and honestly it was awful.
At that time I felt like everybody was thinking that I was naive and stupid and genreally not capable of becoming a good physician.And I put myself under pressure and I felt like I failed at quite a lot of tasks. Drawing blood and doing peripheral venous lines , there was a 50-50 chance that it went well or I had to get somebody to help me. The physicians weren't angry or anything but the nurses made snide remarks which didn't help. (not all but 2 or 3. The nurses from another ward were totally lovely though!)
There were other students there as well and although I realised that they needed a couple of attempts, they just weren't asking for help as I was, that wasn't any solace.
Why did I choose to go there again?Probably laziness as I wanted to do something surgical related and that was the nearest hospital. And a small part wanted to proof that I am not a total idiot (98% laziness, 2 % the idiot part)
In the meantime I had done a clerkship in which I had probably the most useful advice: " pretend that it is an emergency and that you are the only person who can do it. It doesn't matter how many attempts you need in drawing blood ect. as long as you get the result!"
So I started on the first day with those wise words in the back of my mind and a different attitude: I just cared less. I decided to give a fu*k what everybody was thinking of me as long as I tried my very best. If things weren't going the way as I wanted them to go, I would try again. If the doctors treated me like an idiot I would never return there. I'd stay polite towards everybody but wasn't going to take sh't from anyone.
And what happened: suddenly I improved a LOT I mean really a LOT. Not everything was working at first attempt but I politely explained to the patients that I was still learning and was giving my best to make it the most comfortable for them as possible. The patients were really supportive saying that everybody has to learn their profession and that they didn't mind another attempt. Et voilà sometimes I had to try a second time but often the first attempt worked.
I know it is often hard to care less and to stop worrying so much. It took me one year and a half to realise, but i one can manage it, life is so much easier.
What helped me a lot was taking deep breaths and taking my time in preparing everything. I looked twice if I had everything I needed and I didn't rush anything. I tried my best to create a calm environment by having small talk with the patients and explaining them before hand that I might need a second try. It worked wonders.
Stay polite, stay calm and try your best and put to much pressure on yourself. And it is okay to need several attempts.
And that's the story how i got mor confident.
Sidenote how I manipulated my mind/ tips how to stay calm and start the day with a better feeling: I got myself my own tourniquet as a lucky charm and another lucky charm im my bag. That helped a lot. " Nothing can go wrong i've got the lucky charm in my bag :-)" So get yourself a lucky charm (as potterhead: a pocket patronus)
I woke up and said to myself: 'today is a good day' at least twice and repeated that every now and again. Your brain starts eventually thinking that this is a good day.
It works similar if you smile( especially when you look into a mirror) your brain starts thinking you smile because you are happy and puts you in a happy mood.
I applied makeup. That one may sound vain but I normally doesn't do that out of sheer laziness. I applied some powder and a bit of mascara-done. I felt a bit more special a bit more pulled together and more confident.
I listened to some of my favourtie songs on my way to work and had a good sing-along in my car. Nothing better than some awesome music to lift the spirits. Thanks to The Luka State, Everything Everything, One Night Only and the Rifles
Hope that might help.
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